No more apologies are needed. For anything. Girls (particularly southern girls) are taught to apologize for everything even and especially when it’s not their fault. Apologize when you’re wrong? Absolutely. Apologize to stay on someone’s good side? Negative. We’re off that, 2k18 to infinity and beyond. Word to Buzz Lightyear.
One thing I’ve recently come to terms with is that I don’t owe anything to anybody who’s not my mama or a select few branches of the United States government. I don’t have to explain my life, my absences, or my choices to anyone who doesn’t provide any of the three Fs: food, finances, or fornication. I’m a whole adult. Don’t play me.
I’m a person who loves to see people who look like me win in life. I’ll promote your events or your classes or whatever you’re doing to be a productive member of society because I believe there’s room out here for everyone to succeed. I’m not obligated to do this. I do it because when one wins, we all win. Dassit. Please don’t take my willingness to help as an obligation to attend or pay for or anything else. I only do those things when I choose to. You don’t contribute to my pockets or my well-being and I’m a grown woman who truly doesn’t owe you anything.
We can be friends or associates and I can want to see you succeed and help you succeed in any way that I can, but if I can’t afford or am just not interested in your passion…thems the breaks. You can’t change it and talking about me or being shady towards me certainly won’t change my mind. Ain’t no apologies from me, Bih. I said, I AM NOT APOLOGIZING FOR ANYTHING THAT IS NOT MY FAULT EVER AGAIN IN MY AWKWARD BLACK LIFE.
I hope y’all heard me in the cheap seats.
It ain’t happening again. Why? Cause I don’t owe you a damn thing. Releasing the thought that I should feel guilty for not meeting someone else’s expectations feels amazing. Especially when those people don’t take the time to do anything for me.
Girl (universally), bye.
I’m too committed to improving myself and embracing and giving all the good vibes I can. I can’t vibe with every person I meet, it just is what it is. If I get a weird vibe from a person, I automatically distance myself in the efforts to waste my self curated contentment on them. And I’m not sorry. The empowerment of black women and black folks in general is a big deal to me. I don’t talk about it to anyone’s face and then talk dirty about them behind their back. We can’t succeed unless we’re unified and when you fake talk unification and then bad mouth in another instance…your vibe ain’t for me. And I’m not sorry.
We can’t be out here using people and then trashing them when they can’t do anything for us anymore. Where they do that at? Seriously. This is why I limit my socializing. I can’t deal with being drained by unnecessary people. I’m very protective of my energy and I’m not going to waste it and I’m not sorry. I’m the same way when you meet me and when you leave me—nothing changes. I might seem distant at first, but it’s probably a situation where I feel out of place and I’m trying to keep my social battery charged; but that’s an issue for a different day. The point is, I’m not a user who switches it up and acts brand new on folks. If you’re that person, stay far away from me. I’m not about that life.
The moral of this fable, you ask? STOP APOLOGIZING FOR AFFECTION AND FRIENDSHIP! If you have to apologize to someone to stay in their good graces, then they’re not for you. They don’t deserve you or what you have to offer and that’s their loss. It’s not selfish to distance yourself from those kinds of people. It’s self care. To quote this light skinned sage, Aubrey D. Graham, “you gotta be nice for what to these…”
You get it. You don’t have to be nasty to people, but you’ve gotta be conservative with your energy. If they don’t like it, then tough noogies to terrible people.
No unnecessary apologies all 2k18 and beyond. Buzz Lightyear on a bih.