An unintentional ode to Linethia Monique Leaks, a real American hero.
I’m bout sick and damn tired of explaining myself and I’m not doing it any more!
This is essentially for people asking me why I make personal decisions that having nothing to do with them and for people who don’t understand that “no” is a complete sentence. So, I guess this is mostly for family?
Idk, but everybody can get it, so here it go:
Why do you wear your hair like that?
BECAUSE I WANT TO.
Why do you dress like that?
BECAUSE I WANT TO.
Why did you buy that?
BECAUSE I WANTED IT.
Why are you always in the house?
BECAUSE I PAY RENT THERE.
Why are you so quiet?
BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU.
(Just kidding. I don’t know you well enough yet. I’m not comfortable enough yet. Or because I just don’t wanna talk to you. Thems the breaks.)
That’s just a brief overview of what y’all shouldn’t be asking me if none of your coins are sustaining my lifestyle. I work every day with different personalities and attitudes and I wanna come home and just mind my business. I work, pay my bills on time, keep my credit good, and mind my business. In case you haven’t noticed, I happen to do one thing very well and it’s called minding my business. It’s so easy and cost effective, yet people don’t utilize that option more.
If I’m not bothering you, you shouldn’t be bothering me. I’m trying to get my life together and deal with my own problems and if you’re not respecting me or those boundaries, then you’re a problem and problems are things I don’t need. I think we need to understand that there’s a real difference between genuine concern and criticism. If you know I have anxiety and depression and you really want to make sure that I’m doing okay, learn how to effectively approach the subject in a non-judgmental way. If you just don’t like the fact that I stay to myself and you want to gossip about me or my habits or my lifestyle of staying in my lane, then save your breath, key strokes, and negative energy.
I’m no longer stressing myself out about ANYTHING; especially not over being accommodating and living up to other people’s perceptions of me or my life. I only love my bed and my mama, I’m not sorry. And even my mama’s getting these boundaries. I never want to disappoint her because she’s sacrificed so much for me, but I’m my own daggone person and it’s about time I start acting like it and on it. That’s honestly the hardest part of this whole journey, but I’m a full grown woman and that’s explanation enough.
I’ve probably said this before, but being absolutely free of the burden of caring about what other people think about me is so amazing. It’s some next level stuff. Honestly. Truly. Try it.
I’m not speaking this truth to alienate anyone, but it’s truly important that we establish and respect boundaries. Pretty sure I’ve stated that no one owes us anything, but we’ve got to assess the toxic behaviors we all possess. Good intentions also lead to bad results, so it’s important to take stock of what’s needed, necessary, and negative. There are times when I can see someone else doing things or getting ahead and I want to text a friend and let all the hate out. I had to remind myself that it’s not necessary and it’s not needed and I’m over being negative.
Nothing I can say about anyone else’s blessings is going to change them, so I cheer everyone on. There’s more than enough space out here for everyone to win and every win should inspire you to step your game up and create more opportunities. You live your life to the best of your abilities, but remember that it’s not all about you. It’s about how you’ve helped others as well as yourself. This is why self care is important. This is why mental health education and normalization is important. This is why speaking life is important.
When I’m my best self, I’m able to make a way for everyone around me and that starts a ripple effect for those around them and so on. Being my best self now includes boundaries, no explanations, no unnecessary apologies, and abolishing fears. I’m standing firm in my decisions and more mindfully in my actions. I’ve truly reached the peak of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You are free to change. You are free to put your foot down. You are free to change your mindset. You are free to change your mind and start all over again. The most important theme here is that you are free.
(All images are from a Google image search of “mood.”) (I’m kidding, but not really)