Self care is more than manicures and reckless shopping, can we just admit that for a minute? I think it has become so popular to categorize doing anything for yourself as self care that we really ignore the true intention of the term. It’s not for narcissistic reasons, but to truly make sure that we’re doing the necessary things to make ourselves complete physically and mentally. It’s cool to make yourself feel good after a terrible day, but there are some people (like myself) who require a lot more effort to get through the day.
For me, self care is willing myself out of bed every morning after thanking God for another day. Convincing myself that it’s going to be a great day and everything will be fine before getting in the bathroom and repeating my daily mantra to myself is generally how I start each day. It ain’t easy, but I try. Do you know how many days there are that I’d much rather stay under my covers and protect myself from people and the ills of the world?
ALL OF THE DAYS.
Literally, all of them. I can’t earn a living that way, so I have to get up. I have to hype myself up. I have to love myself up to deal with life. Sometimes I fail miserably and sometimes I don’t, but trying again is a major key to my self care. Arriving at work and making that first cup of coffee and starting my routine of getting everything up and going before I log in to deal with my first call is also helpful. There are some days—let’s call them Mondays—where my routine can be thrown off and my mood tends to follow. Sometimes I can shake it off and stay in the moment and other times where it just gets the best of me and everything goes to crap. Getting home, getting in my pjs, getting a snack, getting under my covers and watching tv is how I try to bring it back together and hope for a better day tomorrow.
I wish it could be as easy as shopping or happy hour or whatever else people post on social media and #selfcare, but nah. Drinking just isn’t my jam. I’m too much of a light weight with poor eating habits. Alcohol just makes my head hurt which puts me in a poor mood and renders me no good to anyone. Shopping is my jam, but my tight budget makes buying unnecessary things extremely stressful because I start thinking about not being able to pay a bill and ruining my credit and I don’t need any more anxiety builders in my life. I think we take these simple things for granted when you’re the one who doesn’t need the extra push to do basic life activities.
We’ve bastardized the notion of self care to fit our own selfish desires. It’s a buzz word and a trend and with that, we’ve forgotten its true purpose. I can’t sit here and debate you on what self care means to you, but at least understand its intentions before you manipulate it to fit your agenda. It’s become the equivalent of yelling YOLO before making a bad decision. I hope my intentions are clear in that I’m not trying to shame anyone for taking care of themselves, but to show that self care is far more than what it appears on the surface.
Please check out this article on Psychology Today’s blog if you’d like to know more.
DASSIT. I’m not cranking up my anxiety levels by assuming I’m stirring the drama pot in the self care world. I’m just hoping to deepen people’s levels of understanding.
God bless and good night ✌🏾